AN EVOLUTION OF EXCELLENT THINKING AND WRITING

                                                                                                  This distention essay was scored 100 !!!!!
Will Savino, Chan Song Yoon                                                    

Period 4

October 25, 2011

Blankenship

The Necessity of Dissent in Protecting People from Authority

            “I think I'm a natural-born leader. I know how to bow down to authority if it's authority that I respect” - Tupac Shakur. In order to organize and run a society efficiently, it is necessary to place certain people into positions of authority. These figures of authority are expected to wield power responsibly and make decisions for the good of the people. As the quote from Tupac states, it is important for people to respect these figures of authority. However, if that authority does something to lose the respect of the people, it is important for them to stand up instead of bow down. While many perform their duties justly, there have been cases where those in positions of authority have overlooked or even oppressed those they are supposed to serve. Due to the fact that throughout history, those in positions of authority have been known to ignore the needs of a group of people, dissention is necessary for the people to make their voices heard.

All humans have a basic need to be recognized. Whether the circumstances are big or small, people want to feel as if they matter. Derived from this basic need is the belief that people have the right to have their concerns heard, especially if they feel they have been wronged. The recent protests on Wall Street provide a perfect example of an oppressed people exercising this right. Starting on September 17, 2011, now known as the “Day of Rage”, roughly five thousand disgruntled Americans have swept into Lower Manhattan like a tidal wave, flooding every street and alley with their signs, demonstrations, and contempt (Moynihan). The demonstrators have gathered to protest the inequitable separation of wealth between the very few rich and the very many poor. Calling themselves the “99%” of Americans, they feel as if the government has overlooked the millions of Americans who have lost their jobs and are struggling to make ends meet, while supporting the “1%” of Americans who control most of the wealth (Occupy Wall Street). Police have responded forcibly to the protestors, arresting close to one hundred for disturbing the peace and holding a demonstration without a permit, along with other charges (Protesters Arrested).

While they have broken many laws and have disrupted the lives of many New Yorkers, the protestors’ seemingly excessive display of anger and frustration is neither unjustified nor unnecessary. The protestors feel that their government is purposely ignoring their hardships, and the only way for their concerns to be recognized is through dissent in the form of a city-wide protest. The protest has been successful at achieving just that; all the major news stations and newspapers have been covering the protests, spreading the protestors’ message to virtually every American. Due to the fact that the American government has ignored their concerns, the protestors’ dissent is necessary for their voices to be heard.  

Another example of the necessity of dissent is my own personal experience during sixth grade recess. When I was in the sixth grade, all of the boys in my grade level would come together at recess to play a sport. The demigods of the grade, or the “popular” kids as we mortals would call them, would always decide what sport we would play, and they almost always choose football. My friends and I absolutely despised the game of football; we always wanted to play soccer. But no matter how much we complained, our voices were always drowned out by the pre-pubescent mob willing to conform to whatever the popular kids said. So, we would just suffer through boring recess after boring recess in silence, thinking our cause was hopeless.

After a few months of nothing but football, we had had enough. My friends and I decided we would not play any game until we all would switch from football to soccer. In essence, we boycotted the popular kids’ game. At first, the boycott was disastrous. The popular kids kept playing their game without us, taking the rest of the boys with them. We were left to sit on the blacktop, even more bored then before. As the days went on, however, more and more kids began leaving the football game to join us on the blacktop. After only a few weeks, we had more than enough kids to start a full soccer game, and began to play every recess. Soon, even the popular kids joined our games, and from that point on we began to switch sports at the will of the entire group, not just the popular kids’. When we first tried to express our concerns, they were ignored by the kids who had power over the entire group. Only after dissenting in the form of a boycott were we able to get our message across to all of the boys, and eventually get what we wanted.

America’s well known document, the Declaration of Independence was written by an American revolutionary leader, Thomas Jefferson to dissent against King George. The Declaration of Independence was written in order to dissent against unequal human rights and to protect against ignorant authority. The Declaration of Independence states that King George has not been an authority who cares on people’s rights and freedom. In the Declaration of Independence, Jefferson wrote, “He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.” Because King George did not care about American people, dissention was essential for the Americans to separate from their authority. Because dissention was necessary, Americans needed a well-written document to dissent and persuade against the authority; and to express their opinions that every human being has rights which are: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. From this dissention, the Declaration of Independence played a key role for American people to have their voices heard and to gain more freedom from the authorities.

 North Korea’s absolute authority, Kim Jong Il,  is a modern example of King George.  If Thomas Jefferson never bothered to dissent against King George, Americans might still live in under King George’s generation and live under his power, like how North Korean people are still struggling to live under power of Kim Jong Il’s generation. Ever since Kim Il Sung, father of Kim Jong Il, was known to brutally dictate North Korea with harsh rules, Kim Il Sung’s generation has been ruling North Korea without dissenters riot over Kim’s authority. It is Necessary for North Koreans to stand up and dissent in order to separate from Kim Jong Il’s generation of power. Because Kim Jong Il lives in a self centered life style like King George, he does not care about what North Korean people commonly deserve and desire. Bradly Babson, who is specialized in North Korea’s economy said, “An internal political breakdown that could be triggered by a coup, social unrest, or unforeseen incapacitation of Kim Jong-il’s leadership.” (Washington Times) Because of Kim Jong Il’s lack of leadership, about 2 millions of North Koreans are died from hunger and food shortage during the three years of famine.(NNDB)  Event though, North Korea is staggeringly poor, Kim Jong Il spends tremendous amount of money in making a nuclear weapons as to threat other Nations.  Kim Jong Il spends money to make a nuclear bomb to kill people, rather than to spend the same or even less amount of money to save the hungry North Korean people. What is ironic about this is that Kim Jong Il is basically spending money on to kill people who he believes are opponents or enemies, but he does not spend the money to save his own people, from hunger. Surprisingly, North Korean people adore Kim Jong Il and never take any step to dissent. Because Kim Jong Il controls the media and focus on how Kim Jong Il is a great leader of North Korea, North Korean people call him a ‘our dear leader’.  If North Korean people do not realize the necessity to dissent, Kim Jong Il will assume that people are satisfied with the lives that governments have made. Starvation, hunger, false media information all results in North Korean people to suffer and die from famine. The lives of North Korean people will not change nor improve if North Koreans do not dissent. Perhaps the problem in North Korea is not only Kim Jong Il, but the citizens of North Korean who never spoke out to cry out their needs for a change. Dissention is absolutely necessary if North Koreans want to claim their needs in order to not live in a world that is created by selfish political authority.

            Dissention is a shield to protect people’s natural rights and a sword to fight for our voices to be heard from the authorities who has covered their eyes and ears from people who are crying out for their needs. Because there are authorities who are known to take no notice or pay any close attention to people’s demands, dissention is a strong way to protest and respond back to the authorities for a change. If people never give the opportunity for authorities to hear their strong voices through dissentions, authorities will never take an action nor care to listen to the needs of peoole.

Chan Song Yoon

Ap Language and composition

Blankenship

30 May 2010

     Remembering my childhood on the continent of Africa

Remembering my childhood on the continent of Africa by David Sedaris mainly argues life with money, fancy, and adventurous life seems important, however, having a family love and place for you to stay with warmth is more important for people. The author starts the story talking about Hugh going to field trip to the slaughterhouse. The author shows feeling of jealousy toward Hugh because Sedaris thinks Hugh has all the luck and money to have a wealthy and a happy life. Sedaris directly shows his feelings of being jealous by saying, "When I’m told such stories, it’s all I can do to hold back my feelings of jealousy." Sedaris starts to compare and contrast between him and Hugh and shows how much he envied Hugh. Sedaris's tone in this writing is often sad because he mentions about how he can never win the prize because Hugh's life is way more fancy and awesome. Throughout the story, Sedaris's way of viewing Hugh’s life has changed. Sedaris realized that Hugh had to go through seeing dead people hanging on the telephone pole and moving many times without a permanent house to stay. Sedaris also mentions how Hugh never celebrated his birthday because no one asked when his birthday was.

When I was reading this argument, I agreed with the writer from the start to the end of the story because I felt like I was Hugh. I can relate myself to my life and Hugh'S life. I came to America like without my father to study art and go to good art major college in America. I can say I have a fancy life like Hugh and have much expediency that other people may envy. However Because my dad owns a company in Korea and that he has to take care of it, he only visit me during the break for few weeks. I did not have a dad with me to celebrate my birthday together for more than 6 years. When my dad sent me present from Korea with little note saying 'happy birthday' I went shopping and bought bunch of stuff from the money he gave me to fill my heart that was curved out by loneliness. People called me spoiled in front of my face because they saw my materials and out looks. However, my mind and heart is starving from my daddy's love and care. When I tell them that I live without my dad People are often very surprised because they expect me to have everything in my life and surprise to hear that I am missing the most important thing in my life. I was really depressed when my dad could not come to my middle school graduation. I felt so lonely and left the school without attending the family friend after party. When people compare and contrast their life with mine, they think I have everything that a teenage girl should have, but deep inside my heart, I have an untold story of sadness.

Based in my experience I agree with the writer Sedaris that everyone should be happy about what they have. People live in an unsatisfied life but in order to live happy, we should always look in the bright side of our life.

                                    (Remembering my childhood)

This Argumentative essay was written in the very beginning of the year by comparing and contrasting the author’s experience with my own personal experience. This paper is excellent because I could find a similarity between what the author pursuits in his life and my own life my by expressing the similar emotions and feelings showed in the argument. I also used pathos to evoke pity in the argument in order to make connection between the author’s argument of the materialism caused by the loneliness and the detachment from the parents.  

                                                   (dissention essay)

This partner dissent essay is excellent because the paper has a strong voice and a style of how dissention should be made. The paper includes many historical facts which support the argument with accurate and concrete evidence. The paper compares and contrasts the modern example absolute leader and the historical example of absolute leader to make the argument more cohesive and strong. The paper uses varieties of tones which are cynical, accusatory, and didactic.  The paper has ethos and logos to prove the argument with good argumentative evidence. The conclusion includes a very nice metaphor which compares the people’s rights with the soldier’s weapon to show the clearer concept in the needs of dissention. The conclusion makes a strong last statement which ties all back to the thesis and suggests a change in the society.

            Over the years, my writing has improved because I learned how to make the readers to engage in my writing and argument through providing high quality evidence and thought provoking arguments. At the end of the year, my arguments have more perspectives and viewpoints which make the argument stronger and accurate. 

American experience research paper

Christina Yoon

Ap Language and composition

Blenkanship

5/22/2012

                                                               Lonely America

            Exchange the nation’s victory with one’s loving son’s life. Exchange the friendship with a breathless competition. At the end, walk in to the cold and darkness with no one to hold nor to be with. The nation seems strong but the individuals can hear the cries of distress which suffocates one’s throat. The nation seems united but every individual are still standing alone in the darkness. The nation celebrates the victory but the generation cries at the memorial. Americans endlessly march to the death with emptiness in the heart. Waiting for somebody to reach a hand that will shine the darkest out in the night. Companions, friends, families, romantic partner sounds so sweet and attractive but in reality, they are just an untouchable dreams which makes people feel more secluded in America.

Although American culture emphasizes individualism to live in an independent lifestyle, historical evidence shows that when Americans are in a hard circumstance like in the World War, American people united together to work and to support each other. The American Red Cross was one of the accommodating organizations in America which provided useful services to the U.S military.  The American Red Cross emphasized that American people are not alone because Americans still received and share the love and care through the community during the most hard times to unite the country strongly together. When the hopelessness lonely soldiers were struggling to survive from the harsh conditions, almost 50,000 volunteers and 10,000 American communities supported the devastated soldiers by providing camp service, home service, nursing service to provide food, shelter, supplement supplies, cloth and many other comfort items. The American people show the strong bond between each other to support the nation.

While some people believe that American people  unite together to build more relationships and companionships with other individuals in America, in reality, American people fail to maintain a stable relationship because of the strong American cultural idea of individualism which leads people to be isolated, and lonely.

Edward Hopper is one of the most famous 20th century American artist who painted with the inspiration of emptiness and loneliness in the America. His painting expresses the individualism in America because often times, people are by themselves in the picture without having companions. Edward Hopper expresses the resistance, the grit of the city, and the Great Depression in his painting in America. He also depicted human disenchantment and loneness in his painting by painting only one or two people with depressing face expressions and posture. The people in the painting almost look like they are longing for something or someone and are desperately waiting for something that will never come. This shows how Americans were waiting for their friends and families to comeback from the war during the historical era.

American society went through economic distress which leads the American people to lose fate and hope.  Because people are overly confident rather than logical, they waste lots of money which caused the Great Depression in 1920s in the American history. When people are overly confident, they lose the control and tend to go with their guts and make mistakes. People are confident when they are economically stable but after all, they end up losing the money by making stupid mistakes. When people are overly confident, they don't really know how to make a good decisions since they think they are smarter than whom they are and trust too much in themselves. However because they trust themselvs too much but always tend to doubt others, and neglect others, this is why American people are more lonely. Relationship without the trust and the respect will eventually fail. 

            Because lonely people expect more serious relationship and want something real, they tend to be more picky and suspicious of others. Lonely people make themselves lonelier by choosing not to trust their peers. Because lonely people cannot trust people, they fail to maintain a good relationship.

Some professions argue that the increasing rate of narcissism and American people's loneliness relates. The feeling of superiority and the narcissism can be one of the reasons why people in America feel lonely. Throughout the history, social Darwinism and nationalism supported the idea of American people being superior to the others. Because American people tend to be more arrogant and distance themselves from their peers, Americans lack interaction and this is why people are lonelier. People themselves are making themselves lonely by not trusting others and developing more and more of the detachment. According to ASR, American people are “unrelated individuals" and the percentage of people living by themselves are increasing from 6 to 16 percent in America.

The world war made the people to lose the meaning of life by taking away the security and the stabilized life. The suicidal rates per 100,000 people of suicide among active-duty personnel in the Army, Marines, Navy and Air Force show an increase in suicide rates since 2001. There were 197 Army suicides in 2008, according to the Army's numbers. The total includes active- and non-active-duty soldiers.  Because American people were living in the anxious life, the war made people's mental health destroyed and gave a psychic distress. Also as people become more isolated, people get more anxious. The soldiers in the battle become extremely lonely as they see other soldiers die and feel emotionally exhausted while they struggle to survive.

            Parents in America are protective and they strongly support their children since America is the land of opportunity, and the American  parents think that the more support you give it to your child, they will succeed more in later life. However this is not helpful to children in the other hand because physiologist found out that those children eventually become self centered, so they want others to understand them fully like their parents do. These children has higher chance of becoming a narcissist and have more hard time finding friends because they expects their peers to understand and support them like their parents did it for them. 

           

U.S powerful political leaders are not an exception of the lonely people. “In his isolation, his sovereign madness, his stupidity, he is leading a nation to a place where our citizenry is unable to move forward unable to go back, unable to reenter history, unable to do anything other than lash out at those who would have us begin the process of sloughing off our loss.” The author of the book Loneliness As A Way of Life, Thomas Dumm criticized the presidents George W. Bush as a person who is dishonest, but who does not truly appreciates the country’s hero and refuse to even attend to the people who died from the enemies. He is living in his own isolated blocked grief. Because the president is governing the United States with his own fed up feelings of madness which comes from the embarrassment of the personal grief, and the authority, the country is not able to neither move forward nor go back to the history. Dumm's final claim was that the governments in the United States failed to think themselves as with true clear thoughts because they live in their lonely, isolated, and selfish world.

America is known as the powerful and influential country. However, American people lack power to achieve a more contented life because they have hard time controlling their emotional feelings. Unfortunately majority of Americans experienced the stage of loneliness. Americans should realize that it is not the people who are making each other lonely, but a nation itself. The American cultural idea of individualism separates people from each other and the idea of superiority makes people to be a competitor rather than friends. . Loneliness is a poison which will hamper the American society because it has the power to blind people’s strength but takes away the one’s potential to success.

#5) PREPARE+PRACTICE=PERFECT

                                                      ★PREPARE+PRACTICE=PERFECT ★

If you have the three best Priends, you will succeed in AP Lang.  

So who are my three best Priends? Prepare+Practice=Perfect. 

Do you want to succeed? than prepare and practice! This is the best way to succeed and survive in AP Lang. When I say the 'essay', it is not just a simple, wordy, and boring essay. There are different types of essays which requires higher level of thinking. What are they? They are argumentative essay, synthesis essay, compare and contrast essay.If you do not practice, writing an essay will not be easy. In AP Lang, you will get lots and lots of homework to practice. AP Lang homework is not something you can do in five minutes nor copy off from your friends nor finish it in the hallway before class starts. You have to think and take out every single cells in your brain that functions in a critical thinking way. Homework is the best resources to practice your writing skill and critical thinking skills. If you do your homework and prepare, you will be ready to jump up to the next level. By doing homework, it will lead you to have a clear perspective of the argument. 

Doing your homework in the first place will not be easy because 

you are not used to "think" hard while you do your homework. When i first did my homework I did not have a good sense of how to do it. However I practiced and prepared every class and tried my best. Now, even if homework takes time, I can finish my homework with much better ideas and preparedness. 

These two pictures proves how much I improved from doing homework!

My first quarter soap time..I could not feel out all the boxes.
So I practiced more and more!

This is my Second quarter soap time. See the difference?

Practiced writing an essay!

Here is a video that is really helpful when you write an essay.

#4) YOU! Do you know well enough about you?

AP Lang is all about how YOU think, how YOU analyze, how YOU understand, and how YOU argue. So? Be yourself and speak up your beliefs now. 

If you do not have a good amount of thinking about what you believe in , now is the time to  think about how you view the world. I was extremely excited when i read my summer assignment title. "ARGUE WITH ME". Really? I can actually argue with the teacher, society, friends through writing an essay? I have heard from my parents, teachers ad friends "Don't argue with me." However AP lang gave me chance to speak up and share my ideas, experience, anecdote and opinions. If you have an opinion and strong beliefs, speak up! The stronger you argue about your opinion, the more effective your essay will be. Socratic seminar is not an exception. No one will judge you on what you say. Because in AP Lang, people are very open minded and respect other people's opinions. If you  say something you do not believe in but to only "sounds" smart, that would not last long. None of our work is done by one little fancy sentence. You have to build your argument based on evidence. In order to find the evidence, and have a strong beliefs about it, you have to have a strong voice to persuade the audience.
If you truly become yourself, I guarantee that as you write any kind of argumentative essay, you will start to realize your thinking has changed. This is because you started to build your thoughts in a more concrete way. You started to avoid cliche ideas. You started to think what is right or wrong. You will start to realize who you are as a person.  
Some people are afraid of speaking up because of various reasons; however, how are you going to survive in the jungle without showing your strength and wisdom by crying out like a fierce tiger? 


This song is "I want to be myself" by 3 Doors down. Don't let anything, or anyone stop you from becoming who you are.

#3) How to succeed in timed writing

"you have forty minutes from now on! Ready? Get set, go!" 

Timed writing can be extremely stressful and difficult in AP LANG. In order to succeed in timed writing, you have to have a good time managing skill.When i have timed writing in class, I always bring my watch with me so I can keep track of time. 

Before we start, Do we all know what timed writing is? It's simple. You get a prompt, and write an essay about  in forty minutes. Does forty minute sounds like a lot to you? NO!!! many students in AP lang, including myself, complain about how we do not get enough time to write an essay. The best way to manage your time when you timed write is to read the prompt no more than five to seven minutes to understand and analyze, the author's main argument. Make sure you annotate important importation or evidence as you read along because this will help you to find evidence easily by looking at your notes. After finish  reading the prompt, you can pre-write or go straight to your final paper. However I strongly suggest you to pre-write and plan out your essay first. you will have about 25 minutes, write your final essay, skim through and correct errors for two to three minutes. 

 What should you think about when we time write?

1. what is the main argument of the prompt?
2. what is my thesis going to be?
3. Am I answering the right question?
4. what are my support types?
5. what are my evidence?
6. what is my tone?
7. and how much time do I have left? (important?)   

Here are the list of things NOT do do when you time write

1. Do not zone out! you do not have time!
2. Do not go out of subject! (this happens very often due to the lack of time and stress, results you to write random craps that does not even make sense)

Don't write something as your thesis about something you can not prove in twenty minutes

This picture shows how timed writing is graded. 

If you never had timed writing yet, I will show you two examples of how the prompt looks like. notice how I annotated? This will help you to understand the text more when you timed write. 

Sometimes you have to find the deep hidden meaning of the prompt, but do not over analyze it. Find key words, and the tone of the author. Most of the times, main ideas are often repeated in the prompt. Try to understand the prompt by reading closely and think WHY the author wants to argue about the idea.

Here is the video of how to write a good timed essay

#2) How to annotate your text effectively

                                 Annotate? What should I do ?


When you read, analyse, or time write, annotating the text can be extremely helpful. As you will find out, that reading texts in AP Lang class will not be the easiest things to understand. Because the texts requires higher level of thinking , annotating is one of the important thing to do. By annotating your book, you can look back and see what was important. Annotating is helpful when you time write because you can easily go back and use the underlined sources as your evidence. So! what do we look for when we annotate? I will list things you need to consider when you annotate a text to make it simple and straight forward.



* think about the vocabulary lists. what kind of devices did the author used in order to convey his argument?
*what is the purpose, structure, mode and the approaches?
*what kind of support type did the author used? are they experience? facts? authority? or values?
*Is there Appeals? what kind of appeals? are hey motivational? emotional? need? or slogan?
*Is there logical fallacies? what kind of fallacies? ad hominem? false analogy? generalization? non sequitur? post hoc? slippery slope? 
*Is there diction? what kind of a word choice did the author used to convey his tone?
*Is there Imagery? what kind of scene are you imagining? 
*Is there detail? what kind of language did the author used to describe his details? 
*Is there syntax? what kind? How did the author play with his sentence structure?
*Is there figurative language? Euphemism? metonymy? adage? apostrophe? metaphor? and how do they effect the texts?
*Do you see the repeated idea? is that the main argument?
*Is there important quote? what is the quote talking about and why are they important? 



As you read my list, did you realize that you will not be able to annotate well if you do not know these vocabularies? I strongly suggest that you study and learn all the vocabularies in order to annotate them and use them. Also when you annotate, you have to remember that finding main idea is also important. Think about how the devices, tones, and the purpose relates to main idea. 



Here is my example of how to annotate! I annotated the speech of Barack Obama's Audacity of Hope. 
This was such a great text to annotate because Obama utilizes many rhetorical devices to persuade the American voters.

Here is another example of how to annotate! 

#1) what are ethos,Logos, and pathos?

RHETORIC AND ARGUMENTATION BASICS

      knowing the basic argumentation is the most important thing before you write an argumentative essay. Have you ever heard about the -os family? if you have not yet, I will teach you what they are and how they are used in the argumentative essay. the members of the -os family are ETHOS, PATHOS, AND LOGOS.

1)ETHOS-first of all, let me introduce to you who ethos is. ethos is the smart one. ethos is the quality of character, intelligence, and goodwill in an arguer that contribute to an audience's acceptance of the claim. by using ethos, your argument will be stronger and effective because of the well- organized and the language is much more concrete.  

here is the example of ethos!

http://pathosethoslogos.com/-this is the URL

this was my homework that i did, where i had to write about in what ways Henry and Buckley utilized Ethos.

2) Pathos-now we are on to paths! so who is pathos? pathos is really emotional and sentimental guy. pathos is the quality in a work that prompts the readers to feel PITY. If you want to make your audience to accept your argument, evoke their pity!  Have you ever heard "They need a shelter, place to stay, loving family and true love?"pathos are seen by many of the animal shelter commercial. They evoke people's pity by emotional effects to make your eyes wet. 

This is my example of how+when+why use pathos.

This video is another example of pathos. This video will simply make your eyes cry and evoke pity.(I guarantee) 

3)Logos-Finally, we are on to Logos! Who is logos? logos is the guy who never talk nonsense. Logos is the quality in a work that is based on reason and evidence. I have noticed from myself, and my friends who takes AP Lang, that able to tell the difference between logos and ethos are confusing. However, all you have to remember is that logos goes by logic and true evidence, while ethos shows the intelligent of the writer in order to gain the acceptance from the audience.

here is the link to the examples of logos

http://grammar.about.com/od/il/g/logosterm.htm

http://courses.durhamtech.edu/perkins/aris.html

And this video is really helpful if you watch it ! it explains all the aspects and characteristics of all the -os family ETHOS, PATHOS, AND LOGOS in one video! :)

http://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/lesson-plans/video/persuasive-techniques-advertising-1166.html